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Hello! I'm a posh Englishman funding his writing habit. Subscribe for daily posts of my cock, bum, cum and puns. Enjoy 💦

I usually respond to messages Mon/Wed/Fri afternoons (UK time) 📝

Common questions:

What do you write?
Literary fiction.

Are you published?
Not yet.

Measurements?
6 foot 3.
11 UK feet.
About 88 kg.

Do you do live shows?
No, I’m way too shy! 🙈

Do you do customs?
Generally no as they’re not worth the profit/time ratio.

Will you film yourself sticking things up your bottom?
Honestly, I’m not sure just yet, but I love doing it in my real life so I’ll probably cave at some point… 🙈

Are you gay/straight?
Bi.

Where do you live?
England.

Do you meat fans?
No.

Favourite authors?
Cormac McCarthy, Karl Ove Knausgaard, Michel Houellebecq.

What music do you like?
Classical, Rock, The Smiths.

What is the average air speed velocity of a laden swallow?
Do you mean an African or European Swallow?